You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
We only have a limited time to live a meaningful life. Toxic people slowly drain you of your vitality. The more energy you spend on them, the more stressed and empty you feel. We have all encountered such people, and some of us may have even been toxic people at some point in our lives.
1. The Gossiper 八卦君
The gossiper make you feel like they are bringing you into the fold by sharing delicate information with you. It seems like all they do is gather and disperse chitchat about other people. However, this doesn't add value to your life, and if the gossiper will talk to you, you can be sure that they’re also talking about you to someone else.
This is the person at work that corners you during break time and talks badly about another coworker's performance. People see you together, and they may even label you as a gossiper just for being associated with this type of toxic person.
2. The Manipulator 操纵狂
A manipulator knows what they want, and they'll use you to get it. They don't care about your thoughts and feelings. It seems like the more time you spend with them, the less power you have over yourself. Stick around this person too long, and you’ll end up doing whatever they want。
For example, I have a friend who is being in a toxic relationship. His girlfriend is controlling and abusive. Whenever he tries to leave, she fakes a health crisis to make him feel sorry for her. Since my friend is a nice guy, he sticks around and tries to make her feel better.
3. The Judge 审判者
Regardless of what you say, think, or do, the judge will always have some criticism for you. The judge never tries to put themselves in your shoes. Their only concern is what you did or didn’t do. The more time you spend with them, the more depressed you’ll be. You can never make them happy.
4. The Exaggerator 夸大其词的人
An exaggerator doesn't know how to keep a small problem small. They often resort to saying things like, "You never did…" or "You have always been…" They don't take the time to consider steps you've taken to fix the problem or correct your mistake. To an exaggerator, every mistake feels like the end of the world.
5. The Emotional Expresser 情绪化吐槽狂
The emotional expresser loves talking about feelings, but they never do this in a constructive way. This is the people who repeatedly tell you how bad something makes them feel, but never take any action to improve the bad situations.
Any suggestion that you make for how they can improve their lives will be met with resistance. "I can't do that…" and "I've already tried that…" are responses that the emotional expresser will give to you when you challenge them to face their problems.